[clear - refresh] ---NOT QUITE A MOP, NOT QUITE A PUPPET--- [created by may, modified by johnny b]
ABOUT ME:
Home to a half Mexican who now lives in Silverdale, WA and who supports the Hawks, Sonics and Mariners along with the alma mater (WSU). I also post wacky links, pictures of insanely hot women and what have you (if you don't want to read my ramblings), so enjoy.


FAVORITE LINKS
My Place Of Biz
Miss Eva
MISTERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR ROSSER!
Mr. T! He Don't Pity No Fool, Dig?
Mr. Spaulding
Mr. Gonzo
Mr. Rampsberger
Pop Life
HEART PUNCH'D!
Flux Blog
Oh NO THEY DIN'T!
Support Your Weed Carrier
U.S.S. Mariner
Sports And Bremertonians
Kissing Suzy Kolber
Superficial
Cake And Ice Cream
Oh, Word?
Young, Black and Fabulous
SuperSonic Soul!
Sports Filter
Nah Right
FIRE JOE MORGAN!
Football Outsiders
College Football News
All Music
The Breaks


* m a y s t a r *
designs


Saturday, February 14, 2004
OMFG



OK, so the BEST THING EVER happened tonight.

It was about an half hour before I got off work, and it's been a busy night, but not too bad. It's Britt and me in the booth, with Nettles, Josh and Jason out front just chillin.' I go outside to chat when Britt says, "Hey, there's some guy screaming 'fuck' out there."

Now it's not that big of a deal, 'cause people swear all the time (hey, wouldn't you if you lost $500 on a single dice roll?) and they don't trip over it. But Britt actually came out and said, "No, this guy is going nuts. He's swearing up a storm and everything."

All of us proceed to move inside as they get the call on the radio and proceed to jog to the craps and blackjack tables. There, I see this big guy, about 6'4" 250 just goin' off. He's ranting and raving, he's drunk off his ass, he's lost a bunch of money and he's pausing to scream "FUCK YOU! GIMMIE MY MONEY! I WANT MY MONEY!" at the top of his lungs every five seconds.

Well, he's attracted the attention of everyone in the casino and the security guards, so they're over trying to calm him down along with an agent from tribal gaming. Now, they can't put his hands on him and drag his ass out since they have to be physically provoked (since they almost got in trouble for trying to break up this fight a few months ago that led to one of the older security guards fracturing his hip. Nice, eh?)

Meanwhile, the guy is still yelling "FUCK YOU!!! GIMMIE MY MONEY!!!" and trying to grab at the dealers, other gambler's chips and bumping the other guards around. Not cool. He tries to get in the face of Jon, who's about 6'2, 260. Not cool. He tries to get in the face of Nettles, who's about 6'5", 250. Not smart. Then (and this just about had me on the ground dying of laughter) he bumps into Josh. "FUCK YOU I WANT MY MONEY!!!" he screams.

Josh is 6'10", 330.

Not smart at all. At this point I said to Britt, "He's going down. You watch."

So they kind of lead him to the back, all the while he's still swearing and trying to grab people's chips. Then he bumps into Nettles again and then the big no-no: He tries to grab Jon in a headlock.

See ya. Jon immediately takes him down and Nettles, Josh and my boy Gerald (who is about 6'3", 390) leap on him and cuff him (since they can carry handcuffs in case of people like him.)

Then the guy starts screaming like a little bitch. Just wailing away. Hysterical. The best part was when Rich, the guy at the desk tried to get everyone to leave. "Shelia, tell the crowd to disperse!" God that was funny.

As Nettles and Jon finish cuffing the guy and carrying him out, the coup de gras? Everyone APPLAUDS. Hey, I can't blame them; he put on a show. Probably one of the best I've seen.

Then as Britt and I turn, we see every cop with a five mile radius pulled up with their lights on out front. Before I left, Jason told us if you assault one of them, it's equivalent to assualting a police officer, and one of the guys at the desk had said "They assaulted one of our guards," and it's on like neckbone. I left before county took him away, but I'm sure they had their hands full.

Then I come home and my mom got me the White Album for Valentine's Day. Awwwwww. Thanks Mom.

Finally, I urge everyone reading this to buy Kanye West's College Dropout. It will be the best $16 you will ever spend on music this year. Amazing album. I'll try to have a more in-depth review done soon.

"And there's good reason for their silence; Americans are just too ashamed and fearful to admit to their sexual peccadilloes and other 'bad habits.'" Amen.

I'm out. Enjoy Valentine's Day with your loved one. And if not, then go to a bar, seduce some chick (or guy), fuck 'em, come on their face, come on their back, take $30-40 out their purse (or wallet), go out the window and never call them again. Let them wake up sticky, broke and alone. See how they like it.

That's advice from the late, great Sam Kinison. Meanwhile, I will be at the casino while Frankie Avalon (yes, the Frankie Avalon) woos some 400-odd 40 year old women. Good God.

Until next time, "TURN MY HEADPHONES UP!! YA HEARD!!! WHAT???"

"WHAT??? WHAT???"


etch-a-sketched by john at 4:43 AM