[clear - refresh] ---NOT QUITE A MOP, NOT QUITE A PUPPET--- [created by may, modified by johnny b]
ABOUT ME:
Home to a half Mexican who now lives in Silverdale, WA and who supports the Hawks, Sonics and Mariners along with the alma mater (WSU). I also post wacky links, pictures of insanely hot women and what have you (if you don't want to read my ramblings), so enjoy.


FAVORITE LINKS
My Place Of Biz
Miss Eva
MISTERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR ROSSER!
Mr. T! He Don't Pity No Fool, Dig?
Mr. Spaulding
Mr. Gonzo
Mr. Rampsberger
Pop Life
HEART PUNCH'D!
Flux Blog
Oh NO THEY DIN'T!
Support Your Weed Carrier
U.S.S. Mariner
Sports And Bremertonians
Kissing Suzy Kolber
Superficial
Cake And Ice Cream
Oh, Word?
Young, Black and Fabulous
SuperSonic Soul!
Sports Filter
Nah Right
FIRE JOE MORGAN!
Football Outsiders
College Football News
All Music
The Breaks


* m a y s t a r *
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Sunday, August 01, 2004


Well, I'm back at GSA for two more weeks. I didn't want to do it, but two more weeks isn't that bad. I will miss celebrating my birthday on Thursday, but there is the weekend.

I hate working on my birthday. Hate it. I didn't want to treat my birthday like another day. That's not the way I grew up and I don't think it should be that way when you're an adult. Just enjoy it as the one day that you can do what you want. Besides, every birthday should be a celebration. It's another year that you're beating death down with one hand tied behind your back.

But enough of the heavy stuff. I cannot wait for NCAA 2005 to fall into my clutches. From what I read, the game is incredible. The only thing that may be a problem for me is that the passing game isn't easy. That's not good for me, since I can't run the option to save my life. Three yards and a cloud of dust anyone?

Some other quick hitz:

-I saw the commercial the other day. I thought it was a dream. Then Joey over at HHC hipped us to the game: a protective cover for your CD (D-SKIN~!). I have about seven books of at least 100 CD's, so it's gonna get expensive quick. It'll be a good investment though.

-KEIRA~!

-The Ironman was pretty good. Usual slow start, then a hot finish. Bonus for putting Benoit over HHH even if Eugene interfered. I hope Orton doesn't go over Benoit though. He's improved, but not enough for them to put the World Title on him.

-Speaking of improvement, no deals from the M's at the deadline, but since they're out of it and they weren't going to get nothing more than low-level prospects from clubs who wanted our scrubs for their title runs (heh) it was probably a good thing that Bavasi and crew didn't make any moves. Though the rumored Hansen/Leone/Strong for Burroughs/Payton would have been interesting (and given us a legitimate 3B.)

-NAKED WOMAN ON THE BEACH~!

-I'm trying this Picasa thing to do pics (since I can't post pics outright on Blogger apparently) so excuse the random pics that appear here and there. I'll get this right eventually. EDIT: Never mind (see above.)

-JORDAN~!

-My Aunt Annie and Aunt Phyllis and her fam came up last week. I haven't seen any of them since I went to KC for two weeks in '92, so it was nice to get to chat with them and see how they're doing.

-Got MILF? (only in Western Washington. :)

-I also found out that I suffer from depression. My mother and my Aunt Lu in Arkansas suffer from it as well. Apparently it's a condition that has been in my family for generations. When my aunt and uncle were living in Washington D.C. many years ago, she went to the archives at the Library Of Congress to look up the family history and found out that several family members have ended their lives of their own hand in their 30's and 40's.

I kinda knew I had some sort of condition in that vein (I've dealt with mood swings and thoughts of suicide since I was in puberty) but to hear it out loud from her was rather sobering. Apparently my uncle in Seattle had to talk to my aunt over IM until 3 AM because she was depressed something terrible.

So I've made it a mission to come to terms with this and get my life back on track. It's no secret the past four years of my life haven't been fun. There have been some good times, but for the most part it's been setback after setback with no end in sight. I've been trying to improve myself for a couple of months including cutting back on soda and sugar and taking vitamins, but I wasn't sure if I was ever gonna make a breakthrough.

Until today.

I was looking for some new shoes since the AI's I bought in 2001 seriously needed to be put out to pasture. I hadn't seen anything at the SuperMall in Auburn, so I tried the local mall.

I walked in the Foot Locker when one of the girls that worked there asked if I needed some help. She introduced herself as Summer and if I needed anything, holla.

So I looked at the shoes, checked out the various styles (and if you go now, Sprewell apparently has a deal with Dada where you can get a shoe -- with a spinner on it.)

I asked her if they had some Jordans in my size, but they didn't.

Now, I could have said OK, cool and looked at something else or just thanked her and walked out. But something told me hey, bust on her and see where it goes.

So I poked fun at her about the shoes and got her to laugh. We started rappin', and I couldn't believe I was actually flirting with someone. I never do this -- never.

She told me she was in the Navy and had a year to go. She also had a year left of school which she was planning to finish in Virginia, and she also graduated the same year as me.

Then I paused, and dropped the question -- was she single?

"No," she said. "I gotta 'friend.' It's not a boyfriend/girlfriend thing, but we're waiting to see where it goes."

"Oh, I see," I said. "So is he a player?"

"He said he's not, but..." She trailed off.

"You're not sure?"

She nodded. "I'm gonna wait and see. I gotta be good."

Then:

"Are you single?"

"Yup."

She pauses. Thinks.

"Yeah, I'm gonna try to be good."

OK then.

I changed the subject to what was hot and what wasn't, and she talked with me some more, but people kept comin' in and she had to help them, but before I left, I tried to get a number to no avail. Instead of sweatin' her about it (old skool phrase!) I simply said "Cool," and left.

I know it doesn't seem like much, but this is a major step that I wouldn't have taken three or four months ago. Just the fact that I actually approached a stranger, had a quick convo and tried to get her number speaks volumes about where I'm trying to go.

Now, I need to just keep at it, and maybe I can defeat this demon that's been on my back for most of my life. It's not going to be easy, but I know I can/be what I wanna be/if I work hard at it/I'll be where I wanna be. :)

The best part about today?

All the way home I couldn't stop smiling.

-To end this on a happy note, LINDSEY MUTHAFUCKIN LOHAN IS IN THE BUILDING~! Butch: try not to spontaneously combust when you hit the last page.

Enjoy the pics, and I'll see you next time.

Peace.


etch-a-sketched by john at 10:39 PM