[clear - refresh] ---NOT QUITE A MOP, NOT QUITE A PUPPET--- [created by may, modified by johnny b]
ABOUT ME:
Home to a half Mexican who now lives in Silverdale, WA and who supports the Hawks, Sonics and Mariners along with the alma mater (WSU). I also post wacky links, pictures of insanely hot women and what have you (if you don't want to read my ramblings), so enjoy.


FAVORITE LINKS
My Place Of Biz
Miss Eva
MISTERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR ROSSER!
Mr. T! He Don't Pity No Fool, Dig?
Mr. Spaulding
Mr. Gonzo
Mr. Rampsberger
Pop Life
HEART PUNCH'D!
Flux Blog
Oh NO THEY DIN'T!
Support Your Weed Carrier
U.S.S. Mariner
Sports And Bremertonians
Kissing Suzy Kolber
Superficial
Cake And Ice Cream
Oh, Word?
Young, Black and Fabulous
SuperSonic Soul!
Sports Filter
Nah Right
FIRE JOE MORGAN!
Football Outsiders
College Football News
All Music
The Breaks


* m a y s t a r *
designs


Thursday, December 30, 2004
(WE DOIN' IT) BIG (DOG PITBULL STYLE) IN 2004~~, PT. I









"It was the best of times, it was the BLURST of times!?!?!?"

And another year wraps up as we speed on into the future. Cloned sex slaves and flying cars can't be far off now!

I truly hope you had the best year ever. If not, through bad choices or situations beyond your control, go 'head and brush your shoulder off, playa. Forget all the crap that happened and go get 'em next year. Make it YOUR year. Anybody that hates on you, make 'em yo bitch.

Ya heard me?

Now, onto the survey:

Favorite CD: tie between:



and



Favorite movie: Gotta be Kill Bill V. 2. Second goes to Spiderman 2 and third to The Day After Tomorrow, if only for the scenes where everyone in America is trying to go into Mexico and Mexico DARES TO CLOSE THE BORDERS ( my bro and I were laughing so hard) and the view from space where the storm has covered most of North America that led to this exchange:

Me: "Can you imagine how cold that would be where we live?"

Him: "Nah. It would still rain."

Stupidest thing I bought in 2004: That the Mariners would still be competitive and the Seahawks would lay waste to the NFC en route to the Super Bowl. I KNEW I should have kicked the tires on that bandwagon before buying it. I KNEW it.

*cue "Won't Get Fooled Again"

Wedding present I would give Britney & Kevin: Their very own channel. Seriously. I want to watch them become parents. I want to watch her try -- TRY to be a mom. AND YOU WOULD TOO! DON'T YOU FUCKING LIE TO ME ASSHOLES! I WANT MY BRITNEY TV AND SO DO YOU!

Trend I'm most sick of: The ever growing lack of intelligence in this country as evidenced by the fact that Middle America would rather (not) see gays get married and vote for a who isn't totally sure evolution exsists.

Last time I checked, "God" gave us "brains" to "think." Not to perform slow, self-inflicted lobotomies and watch the matter ooze out of their ears and nose.

My favorite new toy: My X-Box for the second year in a row. I may have to start providing sacrifices to it in a minute.

YOU HEAR THAT ROB??? FUCK YO PS2, DIS BE X-BOX COUNTRY (fo' real! Microsoft operates out of Redmond! So does Nintendo!) BEEEOTCH!

In 2004 I was totally obsessed with: Buying old rap records (or as I liked to call it "buying back my childhood), magazines, posting wacky/funny/stupid/sexy links on this here blog, losing weight, depression, attracting chicks and enjoying life more.

Sex symbol of 2004:



Obvi.

Best sex I've had this year: " 'Best sex I've had this year?' Bitch you almost made me laugh."

My most rock star moment of 2004: None, really. Gah.

Biggest 2004 regret: Not having a rock star moment.

Favorite phrase of 2004: Anything from the now legendary Rick James episode. "It's a celebration bitches!"

Number of times I said "I'm John Becerra, bitch!": NONE. Thank God. Can you imagine how fucking lame that would be?

Number of times I watched the Paris Hilton sex tape: Quite a few, but I'm sure it'll get trashed soon. I can't stand that bitch anymore.

Best song I downloaded this year: Crime Mob: "Knuck If You Buck."

Favorite book of 2004: Ditto on the B.I.G. biography.

Drunkest I got in 2004: Tie between the fourth of July and when our friend came back from Iraq. The only times I really remember being drunk off my ass. Bonus was at that same party when my brother got wasted and threw up in my friend's sink. It still cracks me up.

What I learned this year: I'll handle it. Whatever comes up, no matter what, I can handle it. Very powerful words.

Where I'll be on New Year's Eve: At a friends' house for drinks and good times.

Ambition for 2005: There's a lot I want to do, but my number one goal? Lose a few pounds.

How many?

Try 100.

I cuurently weight 306. I was heavier than that earlier this year, but I have been trying to cut down on eating so much. Now, I want to take that next step and get myself in better shape so I can actually fit in some clothes that look decent and not have to travel to 49 different stores to find XXXL clothes that won't make me look like a fucking moron.

I want to go all the way with this. Post updates, a running tally on the bottom, the whole nine yards.

Can I do it?

You goddamn right I can. And I will.

100 or bust. By this time next year, I will be thinner, in shape and be the sexy bitch I know I can be.

And since I posted this, I will make myself beholden to this. It's my contract to myself. So when I do this, you can share in the glory that will be my victory.

But if I fail at this?

Then this blog will close up, I will retire my account at Delphi, and I will remove myself from the internet and cease to exsist. For good.

Take that how you want, but it's put up or shut up time for me. Play hard or go home. I'll be 28 next year and it's time for me to do something with my life. I'm tired of being the fat loser. I'm tired of being out of shape, sick of not being able to be attractive.

100 or bust, motherfuckers. Be there this time next year or miss out on the celebration.

And on that note, I'm out. Parts II and III (and whatever else I can dig up) will go up this weekend, if I'm not drunk/dead in a ditch somewhere. :)

Happy new year y'all!


etch-a-sketched by john at 3:16 AM